The Dreadful Insinuation

 Two words. They makes us cringe with embarassment and writhe in anger; Diet and Exercise.
The statement "Maybe if you work out and ate healthy you could.."  is a funny one to me. I'm surprised that it isn't met with more swift blows to the speakers' cheek to put them in their place and remind them of their manners.
The reason larger women become so offended by statements like this is the insinuation that we are lazy sloths, slowly going about our daily lives, munching away at everything in sight. However... *pregnant pause*.... this is often the case. It's almost as if it's expected of us to live reckless and unhealthy lifestyles, devoid of any fruit, wheat or anything else found at Whole Foods or Trader Joe's. I was quite annoyed with many a producer of fashion shows I've been in when they sternly say to the "Skinny Models" "You ladies need to make sure you stay fit and eat healthy", and then turn a disdainful eye to us, the "affirmative action models" [will explain later] and say "of course that doesn't apply to you guys".

No! No, Good Sir! It is also upon us to maintain healthy lifestyles! Yes! Be proud of your figure! But also be MINDFUL of the eyes that judge the SHIT out of you when you order the white chocolate mocha [with extra whip] from Starbucks, and a Marble Poundcake to accompany it! Be weary of the scornful looks that are not-so-discretely pointed at your way when you "Go Large" at Burger King, and yes, indeed, when you've spent more than $10 on items soley from the Dollar menu at McDonalds, expect people to look at you shaking their heads in dismay!

There's a spectrum of extremity and plus size women seem to stand steadfast and uncompromisingly on either end, albeit physically and mentally unhealthy. Sadly, the only consensus that bears consistency along this spectrum is the vehement opposition of embracing the lifestyle of Dieting and Exercise. [D&E]


On one end stands the women who compensate for there shortcomings [rather excessive blessings] by projecting the image of immeasurable confidence, scoffing at the very idea that they possibly, just maybe, should try living a healthier lifestyle. These women will shamelessly devour a double whopper with the skinniest of them, boldly stating "Can't no-baddeh tell ME I ain't a bad bitch, I can eat what I want, because I am BEAUTIFUL!" *snaps finger, rolls eyes, grease on mouth corner*

On the other end of the spectrum stand the women who simply have no interest in improving themselves, whatsoever. As a very good friend of mine, we'll call her Carly, once said after being asked about joining a gym "I don't believe in moving -_-". Yet and still every single day these women go on and on about their weight, and how uncomfortable it makes them.

With the first group of women, the problem lies in their self deceit. Whether or not they want to admit it, they DO stare longingly at the skinny hoes on Miami beach in monokinis, floppy hats and wayfarers; they DO wish they could fit on that Roller Coaster ride at Six Flags. Similar to the Napolean Complex however, they portray this image of over confidence, and are super defensive.

For the second group of women, quite honestly, as my friend Roberte said "Honey, it ain't nothin' but jumping on a treadmill". That is probably the realest statement I've ever heard.

To be caught on EITHER end of this self-destructive spectrum is saddening, so let me put forth a template for a plan of action which applies to the women on both ends.

Let this be understood. It is essential that larger women have immaculate deportment and an air of confidence, but let us not beguile ourselves. The human anatomy is an objective, almost scientific tool with specific guidelines on how to prolong it's existence. Having clogged arteries, exhausted blood vessels, impaired vision, glucose-saturated blood and the myriad of other risks we put ourselves at certainly doesn't ascertain the longevity of our mortal being.
It is VERY possible to be a larger woman who is maybe a few pounds overweight, but who's internal bodily functions are in tip top shape. No one is asking you to go pay $60+ a month at a gym [That's fucking preposterous though isn't it? And that price is WITH a fucking FEDERAL discount! Assholes!] But simple lifestyle changes make a WORLD of difference! Instead of running to catch the elevator, Walk up the stairs! Contrary to what many fat people believe, it is perfectly LEGAL to walk up the flight of stairs as the escalator assists you in making the process speedier. [Yes. I went there.] Don't spend all that money on metro fair if the your final destination is within a 15 minute walk. take the time to plan the extra 15 minutes [and as a fat, always walk with a packet of moist towlettes, if you wear makeup, some face powder is also good. We're off that oily face look, we're not about that life]. Instead of investing your food stamps in pre packaged food [even though Stouffer's DOES come closest to home ^_^ yum!], invest in fresh foods that will force you to cook and use healthier methods[i.e., LESS OIL! THROWING MORE SHIT IN THE OVEN]. Instead of heading straight to the soda aisle, invest in natural fruit juices, and for Pete's sake, Target sells the Brita for $5! Incorporate as MUCH water in your system as humanly possible.

These are the little steps that we can take in ensuring we are living a healthier lifestyle, and surprisingly, saving money! [More shopping! :p]

If more of our people make a conscious effort to live more cautiously and cognitively aware of their actions and what they consume, maybe others won't judge as harshly, and there'll be no need to bitch slap someone for asking "What if.." and inadvertenly avoid an assault charge :-)


Lovingly, EFB ;-)

The Fats of Life

As I awaited the arrival of the infamously dreadful 70 Bus yesterday in municipal DC, an SUV pulled up to the red light, all windows down. In the midst of rush hour traffic, myself and the other lowly sidewalk inhabitants heard the backseat passenger [an African American man, no less -_-] hurl a barrage of insults toward the driver. Sitting there, with despair and frustration deep in her eyes was an overweight, pardon me, an obese [morbidly] woman. Based on the commentary of her backseat passenger, I deduced that she was in a relationship with this man. I felt sorry for her, because despite the hurt and anger I could see in her eyes, she sat there, making no comments, statements or arguments to the man's horrid description of her intellectual and physical state of being.


I reflected on the countless occassions where I have seen overweight women exploited and manipulated by men, and thought, "Where the hell is our dignity? Have we no pride?"

Enough beating around the bush, it's not a secret that fat women have a hard time finding themselves in relationships.... I mean come on, society makes it clear that we're [yes, as indicated by the title of this blog, I myself is, indeed, a Fat] the underdogs of society. I've had guy friends say that they're 2 groups in society they would never engage with, regardless of how well they carried themself, how great a personality, and all that great stuff; a Dwarf and a Fat. In a perfect world we would love to be pure hearted and give fat women [and dwarfed women] a chance, however, we live in a superficial world, a Barbie world, if you will, and shit just will NOT change, we haffto get over it. My thing is, just because we're acknowledging this fact does NOT mean that we should then subject ourselves to inferior treatment from men, or be desperate in satisfying these innate needs.

To put things into perspective, let us list the top 5 sterotypes of fat bitches: [please stop being offended of my use of the word bitches; it's a product of the culture I have chosen to embrace. It in no way reflects my views on women. Otherwise, come the hell off ma page]

1. They breathe hard
2. Muffin tops, always
3. Always sweaty
4. Can always be found at a McDonalds/BK, fast food rest. of the like
5. Are Easy

Now, granted, these are probably all true of many fat women [CERTAINLY not all]. However, the one I find most perturbing? Yup! Numero cinco!

What makes a person easy? [in the purest sense of the word, not to be confused with promiscuous.] Self Esteem! Sadly, women struggle with a need for intimacy/attention/affection , and as soon as they see themselves recieveing either one or all of these, they are vulnerable to manipulation. Of course, it is then perfectly logical that fat women would be easy, since they have low self esteem. [Literally, this claim is perfectly logical, even if placed in a truth table using propositional logic]. Truth of the matter is, Insecurity and low self-esteem are universal to women of all races, religions and creeds; sizes, colours and tastes. This needs to come off the list of "Fat bitch stereotypes". Too often men say "Yeh, I fucked with fat bitches, thass easy pussy". No! One's physical attributes should NOT be the determinant factor of the level of one's self esteem!

Throughout the duration of this blog, I will reiterate this sentiment, and show all the fat women out there that we indeed can be empowered! We can certainly carry ourselves with dignity, and we can gracefully dispell society's illustration of our people. There are rules to be followed, guidelines to be consulted; if everyday the only time you're seen briskly walking is to be the first in line at Dunkin Donuts, then you're doing us a disservice... I'm just saying.
I've already acknowledged the sad fact that society will probably not change their perspective on fat bitches, we're lazy, we're slow, we're this or we're that. However, it is completely within the hands of each and every fat bitch to fight these sterotypes with all their might and prove them erroneous! This blog may last 1 day, or 10 years. The aim is, and will always be to allow women, who like myself, happen to be larger, to carry themselves with a sense of dignity, integrity and pride. It goes way further than how one dresses [though this is a HUGE start]. It begins with an initial mindset. It comes with acknowledging that yes, we are the mutants of society, but this is no excuse to settle with being modern societ's huge [pun intended] inside joke.

So ladies, join me as we embark on a new era, the era of the Empowered Fats.