Vocab:
• Streggae - Jamaican term describing a man of low worth and no potential/ambition [rhymes with "reggae"] Synonyms - cruff, waste-man
• "Boopsy" - A woman who financially supports a man
It was whilst on one of Negril's many white sand beaches that I lay, relaxing and munching on Banana chips that I first noted the quality of man us fat bitches decide to court and entertain. And how could I have been so blind? For the larger women in my family were exemplary characters of this "I'm a big bitch so I ain't gon' get nothin better" phenomenon! However, 'twas on that gloomy summer day that it dawned upon me; more times than not, larger women entertain relationships with "Streggaes".
Exhibit A: the woman from my first ever blog post, her boyfriend in the back seat of her sedan verbally abusing her, to the sound of an exasperated sigh, but no sign of protest.
Exhibit B: the countless women I've seen shamelessly claiming the financially supportive role in a relationship [thus introducing the term, Boopsy] as their men sit at home all day and bask in the luxuries being afforded.
This all comes from self esteem issues. The constant fear that, not only fat bitches, but all bitches have; "If I leave then there'll be no one else that wants me". We saw this in Season 2 of Laguna Beach where Jessica was being mistreated by Jason, and constantly reiterated this point to her concerned and pleading friends.
So let's analyze this, you're being used and abused, literally, and you refuse to leave because you fear your own company? Is anyone else seeing the problem with this?
I'm about to get real philosophical and psycho-analytical up in this bitch. Yes, as humans we innately crave the joy and company of others, we are all codependent. "No man is an island", *insert all appropriate clichéd sayings*. We also, however need to be balanced. Those of us who cannot function in such groups are subconsciously offered sanctions [notice in interviews they ask how well you work with groups]. In the same way, people who are needy are as equally frowned upon. We must have a balance in how we conduct our relationships. It's important as human beings to have peace of mind, peace of self, and inner serenity. You know the saying "No self respect is no respect at all", it extends further. So, pray tell, if you cannot stomach your own self enough to enjoy your company , then why would I even come into your countenance [with a 10 foot pole] for you to spread your negativity and self detest on to me? No sweetheart, not a backside!
My point is that, this fear of self, this reliance upon external approval and dependence on others need to be curbed. Only then, after finding for ones self how great they are, will they be able to move forward and will know that this should only be shared with those who can appreciate it in its fullness thereof.
Let me point out right now, one of the reasons I LOVE the Lifetime original show, "Drop Dead Diva" is because the main character is ALWAYS portrayed as having healthy relationships with men of her stature; attorneys, surgeons. Aside from their salary, they always treated her as if they had barely noticed her size, they were gentlemen. Jane knows her worth, and so she knows there's no need to use up her salary supporting any man, or subjecting herself to any kind of mistreatment.
Many of my peers know that I can be a tad superficial, shit, some may go as far as calling me a "Coal Digger" [lol] but at the end of the day, what NO ONE can ever do is question the standard of man that I'm attracted to and associate myself with. I mean, why should I? At my age, there is so much to consider when choosing the right man.
- Level of current/potential income - meaning, I'm not requesting a millionaire, but I am well aware of my talents, and potential worth and I need to be secure in the fact that my partner will be able to financially, hence emotionally and mentally match this
- Protection of gene pool - Meaning, if I think you have personality/physical traits that are detrimental to the normalcy of my offspring, then this may not work
Honestly, I could write and argue a dissertation on this topic, so let me drive the point home. Just because we're fat and may be at a social disadvantage doesn't mean that there is need to settle. I yearn for the days when seeing fat women with a Cruff, playing the role of an active "Boopsy" or being placed in any other denigrating capacity are long gone. It certainly takes discipline, of course, and is very difficult. That's no reason, however, to fall into the slump of unseemly and indecorous relations with subpar men. The most that will come of it is a dangerous and, I daresay, potentially fatal hypospiral to their depraved level, and you'll have nothing to show for it but Hoodrat lives and Hoodrat babies; you'll wish you'd waited it out to see what better could have come along.
The time honoured adage says "If you stand for nothing, you shall fall for anything". I urge you to go forth with these words resting soundly within your hearts.
Affectionately,
EFB
