Disclaimer: I am here to judge no one.
Ever called a promiscuous person a "Whore"? What was their reaction?
Why is it everytime a free-spirited, admittedly sexually adventurous person gets called out for her actions it's followed by a huff, probably some physical altercation, ending with their storming distressedly through the door, of course to the sound of the advice giver's vociferous "Bitch! Don't Slam my shit!"
Secondly,why is it socially acceptable for them to live in their denial?
I'm here to judge no one. I'm all for sexual free-spiritedness, when practiced safely and within reason. Yet and still, who decides the boundaries of said Reason? That, my friends, is solely up to you and your conscience.
We're all adults here. The activities and dealings of your Vagina is no business of mine. And so I'm the last person you'll find probing and prodding to hear about your sexual antics. If as a friend you feel so compelled to share this with me, I'm happy to share your successful conquests, and shudder with you as you recount the horrific sexcapades to which every girl in her mid-twenties must fall victim.
However, when a problem arises and I then become directly AFFECTED by the activities of aforementioned Vaj, or when I take it upon myself as a friend to caution you at a time I see the need, don't thrash and writhe in disbelief. I am completely unaffected by the reddening of your cheek and the fury withinn your eyes. This will not prevent me from telling you about your life.
In my 24 years on earth, I've seen Two major categories underwhich Promiscuity falls:
1. Promiscuity by Choice
This is described by the person who consciously has a nonchalant attitude towards sex, and sees it as a mere bodily function. This person may have varying reasons; be it some intrigue or allure they find in their conquest, or simply opting to call on the closest person that can be contacted simply to relieve themselves of their sexual frustration.
Fair Enough.
2. Promiscuity by Stupidity [Accidental Whores, if you will]
This is the hopeless romantic that seeks a solid relationship, but instead of laying a firm foundation upon which the relationship would stand, falls victim to ploys of deciet by allowing any and all Joes to explore the realms of her nethers. Before she knows it, her number is far into the double digits, and her lack of discretion leaves her looking like a promiscuous bimbo with no prospect of being taken seriously.
My advice to this girl; Catch yourself in the cycle. I know of too many women who follow the exact routine time and time again, without stopping, even after the 6th or 7th guy, to say "Wait. Why is this happening, again?"
Be that as it may, the question still stands; Why the fuck do you people take such deep offense to being called exactly what your actions depict?
[Jessa from HBO's GIRLS, and Samantha from HBO's SATC come to mind]
Perhaps it's the label. Yes! We recoil at even the wiff of the insinuation; Slut! Whore! It's a harsh cross to bear, and perhaps it could have been phrased more tactfully and understated. But at the end of the day, when we're lamenting on our sexual exploits with the casual roll of an eye and giggles of glee, we must call a spade just that. A spade, and move on with our lives. Harsh cross to bear, but the choice was yours to bear it.
This wasn't meant to be an oratory crucifiction of any sort. Whether you've had 12 partners or 1200, the point is that no label given to you, based on your sexual activity or otherwise, should affect you unless it's something you agree with.
No Hard Feelings?
Warmest,
EFB.
P.S. Discretion; Exercise it.
Ever called a promiscuous person a "Whore"? What was their reaction?
Why is it everytime a free-spirited, admittedly sexually adventurous person gets called out for her actions it's followed by a huff, probably some physical altercation, ending with their storming distressedly through the door, of course to the sound of the advice giver's vociferous "Bitch! Don't Slam my shit!"
Secondly,why is it socially acceptable for them to live in their denial?
I'm here to judge no one. I'm all for sexual free-spiritedness, when practiced safely and within reason. Yet and still, who decides the boundaries of said Reason? That, my friends, is solely up to you and your conscience.
We're all adults here. The activities and dealings of your Vagina is no business of mine. And so I'm the last person you'll find probing and prodding to hear about your sexual antics. If as a friend you feel so compelled to share this with me, I'm happy to share your successful conquests, and shudder with you as you recount the horrific sexcapades to which every girl in her mid-twenties must fall victim.
However, when a problem arises and I then become directly AFFECTED by the activities of aforementioned Vaj, or when I take it upon myself as a friend to caution you at a time I see the need, don't thrash and writhe in disbelief. I am completely unaffected by the reddening of your cheek and the fury withinn your eyes. This will not prevent me from telling you about your life.
In my 24 years on earth, I've seen Two major categories underwhich Promiscuity falls:
1. Promiscuity by Choice
This is described by the person who consciously has a nonchalant attitude towards sex, and sees it as a mere bodily function. This person may have varying reasons; be it some intrigue or allure they find in their conquest, or simply opting to call on the closest person that can be contacted simply to relieve themselves of their sexual frustration.
Fair Enough.
2. Promiscuity by Stupidity [Accidental Whores, if you will]
This is the hopeless romantic that seeks a solid relationship, but instead of laying a firm foundation upon which the relationship would stand, falls victim to ploys of deciet by allowing any and all Joes to explore the realms of her nethers. Before she knows it, her number is far into the double digits, and her lack of discretion leaves her looking like a promiscuous bimbo with no prospect of being taken seriously.
My advice to this girl; Catch yourself in the cycle. I know of too many women who follow the exact routine time and time again, without stopping, even after the 6th or 7th guy, to say "Wait. Why is this happening, again?"
Be that as it may, the question still stands; Why the fuck do you people take such deep offense to being called exactly what your actions depict?
[Jessa from HBO's GIRLS, and Samantha from HBO's SATC come to mind]
Perhaps it's the label. Yes! We recoil at even the wiff of the insinuation; Slut! Whore! It's a harsh cross to bear, and perhaps it could have been phrased more tactfully and understated. But at the end of the day, when we're lamenting on our sexual exploits with the casual roll of an eye and giggles of glee, we must call a spade just that. A spade, and move on with our lives. Harsh cross to bear, but the choice was yours to bear it.
This wasn't meant to be an oratory crucifiction of any sort. Whether you've had 12 partners or 1200, the point is that no label given to you, based on your sexual activity or otherwise, should affect you unless it's something you agree with.
No Hard Feelings?
Warmest,
EFB.
P.S. Discretion; Exercise it.
And you claim this wasn't hilarious... but I'm glad you brought this topic up because it's something I think about from time to time. While, like you said, it may be harsh, the way you carry yourself as an individual is the label you create for yourself. I fully agree and support this post (although it doesn't mean I will run around calling people whores) but if it directly affects me or it is someone that I care about... a spade will be called a spade. I believe in saying it like I mean it. Maybe it might help them see the error in their ways.
ReplyDeleteAgain, great post! I always appreciate your honesty!!! Keep writing!!
Ignoring accidental whores(who simply haven't seen the light lol), I can still see why a "conscious whore" would be angered when verbally(and publicly) labelled in that manner.It all lies in the societal semantics and connotations of the term. Based on its generally accepted usage context(not dictionary definition), "Whore" immediately denotes two things namely a)The actions of said person are *wrong* b) These actions are shameful and deserving of scorn and ridicule. Now any self-respecting "conscious whore" almost certainly disagrees with those conclusions because from their perspective: i)There is nothing *intrinsically* wrong with promiscuity(except say in cases where say one partner expects monogamy and is misled) ii) If the first point holds, then why should the passively accept your scorn and display the expected/assumed contrition? Because if the "wrongness" has become strictly a matter of personal opinion/value judgement, then they are well in their rights to ask you to stfu. As an analogy, consider how most "soldiers" would react to being labelled "Murderers" in public. After all, they deliberately kill loads of people, sometimes inadvertently take innocent life so it *is* an accurate depiction e.t.c However,the loaded nature of the term means the reflexive reaction of a typical soldier would be anger.Basically,it is impossible to agree or more importantly be accepting of "conscious whore" beliefs and still use the "whore" label(except in jest or ironically). In the end, it really comes down to the thickness of the recipients skin. But I do not agree that an embrace of the "conscious whore" lifestyle implies an embrace of the conventional connotations of the "whore" label.
ReplyDeleteAs a wise red-afro-haired man once said, "I am not a whore..But I like to do it"